Although I can only imagine that dealing with infertility is difficult for the wife and can consume her thought-processing and time, I would like to take a step back and focus on something else.
I have found that when I begin to obsess about something and it consumes me to the point that I cannot concentrate or even fall asleep, I try to either do several things at once to occupy my thoughts or I focus on something that I really enjoy that gives me positive feelings. For example, my wife and I really want to have children and I really want to provide for our family and I know and understand that I need the proper education and experience to attain those goals as a provider. However, it is still frustrating for me and I lack patience, feeling like I should already be providing solely for my family. So, when that happens and I begin to look at job websites 20 times per day, I take a step back and find a great sporting event on TV, preferably baseball, which I can focus all my energies on.
Another example to get my mind off my frustrations is to occupy myself with several tasks that are important that I have not gotten to yet. And, I tend to always have tasks on my checklist that I need to take care of that may not be as important in the long run as obtaining a career, but in the short run they are tasks that need to be taken care of. In other words, when I take things one-day-at-a-time, one-task-at-a-time I find that I can then worry about my insecurities about not yet providing for my family or about not having children yet when the situation occurs.
I will never fully understand what you women have to go through, but I do know that less stress in one’s life equals a healthier, happier and more-balanced life and lifestyle.
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