Monday, February 28, 2011

Date night

One thing that I think is really important is to make sure that you are having quality time together and that as a couple you are still dating each other. Who said that when we get married we don’t have to date anymore? I believe that dating is still very important. It is a time where you can talk about life and your feeling and it is also a time that you can just have time as a couple.

Dates don’t have to be complicated or expensive but you do have to make time for them. I thought I would list some date night options.

1) Go out to dinner

2) Go to a movie

3) Go bowling, mini golf, or batting cages.

4) Go for a walk

5) Cook dinner together

6) Go hiking

7) Plan a game night

8) Attend a local sporting event

9) Attend fairs or other city events

10) Go for a drive

11) Go to the local make out spot and make out like you were teenagers

12) Go on a picnic

13) Start taking dance lessons

14) Go window shopping

15) If possible do what you did on your first date.

These are just a few ideas and I’m sure you can come up with a lot more but the key is to get out and have fun as a couple!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

A happy marriage

One of the best things that you can do as a couple during times of infertility is to continually date! A lot of times people think that dating is something that you do when getting to know each other but dating is one of the keys to keeping a relationship strong.

This is time where you can just have fun and continue to get to know each other because once the babies come I have been told it is much harder to date. You have to worry about getting a baby sitter, not staying out to late and all those fun details. Take advantage of the childless time you have right now and go have fun together.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

A bit of testing...

Doing a blood test to see your hormone levels is one of the first things any doctor will do to check your fertility. They will be looking for any levels that may be a little off or way off. Hormone issues are usually one of the most common problems and it is the easiest to fix. Most of the time doctors will prescribe a medicine to help. Also by diagnosing hormone issues it may help find other underlining problems.
Whatever is going on with your hormones don’t forget to keep tracking your cycles and keep your hope up! One of the hardest things about infertility is not having the knowledge of what is going on and why you can’t get pregnant. Don’t give up but take control of your fertility!

Friday, February 25, 2011

LH and Progesterone

The luterine hormone is a key hormone that helps you identify ovulation. Progesterone is there to help maintain the pregnancy once the egg has attached to the lining of the uterus.

“In females, ovulation of mature follicles on the ovary is induced by a large burst of LH secretion known as the preovulatory LH surge. Residual cells within ovulated follicles proliferate to form corpora lutea, which secrete the steroid hormones progesterone and estradiol. Progesterone is necessary for maintenance of pregnancy, and, in most mammals, LH is required for continued development and function of corpora lutea. The name luteinizing hormone derives from this effect of inducing luteinization of ovarian follicles.”

Thursday, February 24, 2011


Patience is something that I am continually working on and I know it is something that I am going to have to work on for the rest of my life. I am grateful for a father in heaven who understands that weakness in me.

“Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!” Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Continue in Patience,” Ensign, May 2010, 57

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

The king's hormon

Testosterone is the hormone of the kings! Actually it is the hormone that is found in both men and woman but higher levels are found in men then in women.

“Women's ovaries and adrenal glands share the responsibility for testosterone production. Studies show that testosterone helps women maintain muscle and bone strength, and contributes to sex drive or libido… Women manufacture about one-seventh the amount of testosterone each day that men do.”

Too much testosterone can cause problems with fertility and high levels can be found in women who have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and adrenal gland problems.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The queen hormone

Estrogen is the queen of the hormones for women and as such it can play havoc on a woman’s body if it the estrogen levels are not correct.

Estrogen can be “found in both men and women, though it is found in significantly higher levels in females because of its role in female reproductive health. The hormone is produced within fat tissue, adrenal glands, as well as the ovaries. The term "estrogen" includes related compounds such as estradiol, estriol, and estrone.”

Estrogen is very significant to a woman and not just in the reproductive area but this hormone actually effects a woman her whole life. This paragraph taken from talks about the significance of Estrogen:

“While men produce estrogen as well, its role in men's health has not been determined. Estrogen aids in the preparation of reproductive organs in women for conception and pregnancy. Specifically, estrogen is responsible for the development and growth of sexual characteristics that distinguish females from males, such as larger breasts. Not only is this hormone found in humans, but animals also produce estrogen as an integral part of their reproductive system. Estrogen circulates within the bloodstream, binding to estrogen receptors on targeted tissue cells in women. This not only affects the breasts but also women's bones, brain, heart and liver. The hormone also controls the growth of uterine lining and regulates metabolic processes such as bone growth and cholesterol levels.”

(Read more: What Is the Purpose of Estrogen?

Monday, February 21, 2011

The players

A woman’s body goes through many different changes and with those changes different hormones come into play. There are few main hormones that really affect each woman and their fertility.





Human Growth Hormone

Luteinizing Hormone (LH)

Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH)

All these hormones need to work together in order for the body to be healthy and to be able to have a baby.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


Emotions are an amazing and crazy thing! As women a lot of times our hormones can affect our emotions. It is really interesting how much hormones can affect all parts of our lives. This week we will be discussing the different emotions, how they affect us, and how to deal with the emotions that result from those wonderful hormones.  

Saturday, February 19, 2011


As a recap for this week, when it comes to the baby making process, have fun, remember each other’s feelings, and continue to cultivate a stronger relationship with your spouse. By doing this you will find that you will be able to grow and learn through this trial of infertility instead of letting your desire for children consume you because you are not going through it alone but with your husband and the lord Jesus Christ.  

Friday, February 18, 2011

Having Fun

A common thing that every book on fertility talks about is having the position that you should have sex in to help the sperm get where it needs to get. Any research you can do will usually mention that you should have sex in the missionary position. This is where the man is on top and supposedly this will place the sperm where it needs to go and with gravities help out as well.

Although this is a good idea, it is easy to think it is the only way that you should have sex if you are trying to have children. I don’t believe that this is the case because I think there are other options that are available after intercourse that do the same thing as the missionary position. You have to do what is best for you as a couple and this is more important then what position you have sex in.

Have fun, get to know each other’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom, and most of all don’t overanalyze the process.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

It's all about love

"Love is what inspired our Heavenly Father to create our spirits; it is what led our Savior to the Garden of Gethsemane to make Himself a ransom for our sins. Love is the grand motive of the plan of salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever-renewing spring of healing, the precious fountain of hope. As we extend our hands and hearts toward others in Christ like love, something wonderful happens to us. Our own spirits become healed, more refined, and stronger. We become happier, more peaceful, and more receptive to the whisperings of the Holy Spirit." Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "You Are My Hands," Ensign, May 2010, 70, 75

Love is the glue that keeps our lives together and the whole reason we are on this journey to have children. We have a deep and pure love that we want to share and feel from the lives of our posterity. May we remember the love that the lord has for each one of us individually and that we have husbands that love us very much as well.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Its not a chore

Don’t make sex a chore! When charting and making sure that you are timing you intercourse, the first few months can be a lot of fun, but as the months roll on it can be easy to make it a bit of a chore.

From my experience, although it can be hard, there are times when I knew I was about to ovulate but because life was busy and one or both of us were tired, having sex just wasn’t an option. There were a couple times when I knew that it wasn’t worth pushing the need to have sex at a certain time because it would have been a bit detrimental to our relationship. It was worth missing one day of intercourse for both our sanity.

Just remember that there are some months that you have to try harder to make sex not a chore but it is totally worth the effort.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A thought from my husband

As a husband, I’ve first learned that I will never fully understand what my wife is going through with the fact that she is not able to become pregnant, and as a result we cannot have kids. This simple tidbit of information has helped me immensely because as a male I will never be the one to feel the physical effects my wife does (luckily). It is true that I also have a great desire, like my wife, to have children; it has been a goal and dream of mine to raise children in the Gospel.

At first, it was difficult for me because I felt like I was out of the loop in the baby-making process while my wife was checking her temperature all the time and looking at some type of chart to figure out when would be the best time to have sex. There was also a point in time that I felt like since I couldn’t do as many things on my end, it meant that I didn’t care about having children as much as my wife; but, that was not true. There is just a more personal, physical attachment women have to the baby-making process that men do not. Once I understood that, I was able to have more of a peace-of-mind and I did my best to work on preparing us to have children, but not worry about it. As a result, I tried to be there more for my wife emotionally and simply listen to her when she explained to me how she felt.

One thing that has also really helped myself feel involved is simply by way of open communication. At first, we had misunderstandings because we did not communicate and instead assumed what the other was meaning or thinking. Later, when we talked to each other about what was on our minds, we may not always have seen eye-to-eye, but we did better understand and sympathize with each other’s perspective.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Spice it up!

Today is Valentine’s Day and it is the day of love, cupid, chocolate, roses and whoopee. Although this isn’t one of my favorite holidays, it is still a great time to remember that the world really revolves around love. We are all either moving towards or away from love.

When trying to have children it is very easy to get caught up charting your fertility and if you start using fertility medicine you have to keep track of when you ovulate and when you have intercourse. With all the charting and planning it is easy to forget that you should have fun in the bedroom!

It is also easy to go through the motions and although going through the motions can still be enjoyable, if you spice things up in the bedroom it will make it even that much more enjoyable.

Let me ask a few questions: When was the last time you wore lingerie? When was the last time that your husband gave you a back rub? When was the last time that you spent more than 5 minutes with foreplay? If any of these questions can be answered with “It’s been a while” or “I don’t remember” maybe it is time to spice things up a bit.

Don’t forget that while sex was intended for the purpose of reproducing, it was also created to help bring couples together on a deeper physical and spiritual level.

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day and enjoy spending some quality time with your hubby!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The week of love!

With this being the week of valentines, I thought it would be appropriate to focus on the relationship that makes fertility possible. That is the relationship between you and your husband. If you ever read any book about fertility one thing that most will touch on is the fact that infertility really can put a strain on a relationship. Between the random emotions, the timing of sex, and running your once spontaneous life around your fertility, it can put a strain on a relationship if there is not communication between both you and your husband.

I mentioned this last month but it is important to make sure that you are involving your husband in this process and giving him some of the responsibility too. One way that Robert was involved was when I was tracking my BBT; he would hand me the thermometer in the morning and would sometimes chart it for me as well. I would so review the month’s findings with him and we would discuss what was going on with my body. This helped Robert feel involved, ask questions and also keep me from over analyzing everything.

I will be the first person to admit that it I am not perfect at communicating with my husband but he is more important to me than anything and without him I wouldn’t even be going through this trial of infertility. I am so grateful for his patients and his love for my. I would like to encourage all of you to give your hubby an extra hug today and thank him for his loving you and being willing to walk this life’s journeys with you.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

The timing of it all

As mentioned earlier, the whole point of tracking ovulation is to figure out when is the most optimal time to have sex to increase chances of conceiving. By using more than one of the ovulation tracking techniques, you can become more familiar with your body and know when you are ovulating. If you are not having sex during the time that you are ovulating it can make it difficult to get pregnant.

I would like to give a side note, sperm can live up to 5 days in the uterus but the longer the sperm is in there the weaker it becomes, till it finally dies off. On the flip side there is only a window of about 24-38 hours where the woman’s egg is viable for fertilization. So by knowing when you are about to ovulate it allows you and your husband to have the freshest sperm possible present in the uterus, giving the egg and the sperm the best chance to meet.

During the week of ovulation, a common misconception is that a couple needs to have sex every day in order to make sure they have had sex on the day of ovulation. This is actually something that can be harmful to fertility because it diminishes the potency of the man’s sperm. It has been suggested that a couple have sex every other day in order to help the sperm reservoir replenish.

One last thing that is very important is to compare the data that you have gathered over the month. If you are using a BBT chart it is easy record the data that is collected from the other techniques used, so you can have all that information in one place. This makes reviewing the data easy for you and for any doctor you may show it to.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Cervical mucus and ferns

Another tool that you can use in conjunction with the BBT and OPK’s is checking you cervical mucus. A woman’s cervical mucus can be great indicator as to how fertile your body is. Right after you have finished your period and you move towards the second week of your cycle, you will probably notice that when you wipe after using the bathroom, that there is a change in how wet you are down there.

“Cervical mucus changes are monitored for determining when ovulation occurs through the cervical mucus monitoring test. As your cycle progresses, your cervical mucus increases in volume and changes texture. The changes in the mucus that is secreted from the cervix reflect where you are in your cycle. The consistency of your cervical mucus changes during the cycle due to hormonal fluctuations. You are considered most fertile when the mucus becomes clear, slippery, and stretchy. Many women compare mucus at this stage to raw egg whites.” (

I believe a picture is a much better way to understand what fertile cervical mucus looks like:

Picture taken from (

The last tool that can be used at home to predict ovulation is by doing a Fern Saliva test. This test is described as, “When a woman is about to ovulate, her saliva begins to form a distinct fern-like pattern (when viewed under a microscope) due to an increase in the level of estrogen present, which in turn causes and increase in salinity. Salinity, produces ferns. This ferning pattern begins to appear around 3 days prior to ovulation.” (

This can simply be done by either purchasing a personal ovulation microscope, and placing a drop of saliva on the glass, wait five minutes and see if your saliva creates a fern pattern.

Here is a picture that shows what is fertile and what is not:

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Thought of the week

I think I have found a perfect quote for what I have been feeling lately and it helps me remember that the Christ is always there, no matter what I’m going through!
"In the most difficult circumstances of life, there is often only one source of peace. The Prince of Peace, Jesus Christ, extends His grace with the invitation, 'Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest' (Matthew 11:28)."

Donald L. Hallstrom, "Turn to the Lord," Ensign, May 2010, 78

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


Now one of the biggest benefits of charting your BBT is know when you are about to ovulate. Ovulation is the key to getting pregnant, without it there is no hope for conceiving. By knowing when you are about to ovulate you will be able most likely to conceive.

The BBT is one way that you can find out when you are about to ovulate because when you notice your temperature spike or rise about ½ to 1 degree, it indicates that ovulation may have occurred. “Note that BBT charting does not "predict" when you ovulate within a discrete cycle; it only verifies ovulation approximately 24 to 48 hours afterwards. Hence, charting your BBT’s for just one month provides useful fertility information. However, only after a handful of months will your BBT and fertility data begin to become crystal clear and determinate patterns begin to emerge.” (

Another option to “predict” ovulation is to use ovulation prediction kits. These are sticks that your pee on that measure LH levels (Luteinizing Hormone- the hormone that helps trigger ovulation). On average, you use these pee sticks between day 10 and 20 of your cycle.

“OPK's [ovulation predictor kits] are not read like HPT's [home pregnancy tests]. An OPK has a "control" line and a "test" line, just like an HPT. Unlike an HPT, however, the mere presence of a "test" line does not mean the test is positive. The test line must be as dark as, or darker than, the control line to be a positive result (meaning that a surge was detected, rather than the ordinary amount of LH usually found in your urine every day.) Be sure to read the instructions that come with your tests if there is any doubts! You may find it takes a "practice" cycle or two to learn what a positive looks like for YOU. You may also have clearer results with a different brand of test.” (

Here is a picture of what a positive OPK looks like:

On Friday I will continue to discuss some of the other ways and tools that can be used at home to predict ovulation.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


When I started charting my BBT, I found out that I wasn’t ovulating every month but actually every other month. Plus it helped me see what was going on with my cycles. When we hit our one year mark I was able to take my charts and show the doctor what was going on.

Growing up I knew that there was something wrong with my cycles but I didn’t know what was wrong. My cycles were all over the place and there were some months where I would only have a couple weeks between bleeding or I might not stop bleeding for a whole month. As I got older, my cycles continued to be all over the map and some months they were short and other times it was long.

While charting I was able to see exact dates and times of when I was bleeding and when I wasn’t. It also helped me determine when my cycles were starting and when they were finishing. All of which has been helpful in the diagnostic process.

When charting your BBT, make sure that you keep track of when your period starts, when it ends, how heavy it is, and any symptoms you are feeling during the month. Another important fact of keeping track of this is charting is you will become more aware of what your body is telling you.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Your Basal Body Temperature.

The first thing that I would suggest anyone to start off with is tracking their Basal Body Temperature.

According to Wikipedia, “Basal body temperature is the lowest temperature attained by the body during rest (usually during sleep). It is generally measured immediately after awakening and before any physical activity has been undertaken, although the temperature measured at that time is somewhat higher than the true basal body temperature. In women, ovulation causes an increase of one-half to one degree Fahrenheit (one-quarter to one-half degree Celsius) in basal body temperature (BBT); monitoring of BBTs is one way of estimating the day of ovulation. The tendency of a woman to have lower temperatures before ovulation, and higher temperatures afterwards, is known as a biphasic pattern. Charting of this pattern may be used as a component of fertility awareness.”

Charting your temperature is the first step towards really being able to understand what is going on with your body. It is best that you buy a digital thermometer so that you can get an accurate result. Make sure you take your temperature first thing in the morning before you even get out of bed and also chart it. There are many different ways that you can chart your BBT (basal body temperature), you can print a calendar and chart it that way or you can get a specific BBT chart. There are also many online programs that can be used to help chart your BBT.

Here is a site where you can print off a BBT chart that you can use:

This site gives step by step on charting your BBT:

And this site gives an example of a completed BBT chart:

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Getting to know your body

This week is all about getting to know your body! As you get to know your body you will have more knowledge about what is going on. With that knowledge you can have more control over the situation and be prepared for visiting the doctor.

When you are trying to conceive, unless you have a prior condition, most doctors won’t see you unless it has been over a year. If you do have a prior condition that you are aware of, like endometriosis, irregular periods, or have been previously told that you may have troubles getting pregnant, I would suggest that you should probably not wait the year before you talk with your doctor.

Our bodies are amazing in the fact that it will give us signs and notifications if things are not going well. For example when you have an infection a lot of time you will run a fever, that is your bodies way of telling you that you are sick. Now when it comes to infertility there are signs that your body can give you to let you know what is going on with your fertility.

All of us have a menstrual cycle of some kind and if you know what is going on with it, you can know when you’re most likely to conceive and also see if everything is working well in your body.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Children that are not your own.

Although I don’t have children yet, I take a lot of joy in my nephews and I love to see the joy and happiness that Robert and I can bring into their lives. By being a part of their lives I feel like I am in some way helping shape their lives. I know that we are that we may have joy and I don’t think there is anything wrong with finding the joy of caring for children that are not our own.

I think at times it is when we are caring for other people’s children we can use that time to reflect and grow and ultimately develop a relationship that you might not have otherwise had.

Sometimes it makes you fall even more in love with that wonderful man you married!

Friday, February 4, 2011


One of the things I think that people love about children is they are completely innocence and not capable of guile. I found a quote that I would like to share:

“Children are the ultimate gift to two people who love each other and the ultimate inconvenience to parents that don't. There is no bigger responsibility, and yet a relationship with a child can bear the greatest rewards. Children intuitively know when they are wanted and when they are not. The way that they raised from the cradle will affect the people they will become.” (Source: Children Poems - Poems about Children

Thursday, February 3, 2011

A little boy in need!

I know this blog doesn’t reach hundreds of people, but I have learned that even one person can make a difference. Robert and I have a friend who has been our friends for quite a few years; Val and her husband Richard. They are an amazing couple and in the past year have adopted 3 children with special needs from Bulgaria. They were in the process of adopting another little boy who is about to be put into an institution. They had committed to this little boy but in the best interest of their family, they came to the devastating conclusion that they wouldn’t be able to keep their commitment to this little boy.

Now they are making a plea for this boy that they love with all their heart to help find him a forever family. I wanted to post some information about Gage and about Val and Richard in hopes of helping get their story out. They are in need of help so please pass this information on to anyone you can think of that might be able to help out. Thank you in advance for your thoughts, prayers and help!


Gage (31)
From his medical records: Cerebrospinal partial Aplasia of the lower part of the spine, partial hypoplasia of pelvis bones, contracture of femurs/thighs/hips and knees. Likely common diagnosis of Caudal Regression Syndrome/Sacral Agenesis.

Val and Richard

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


We all have an endless power to love and that love is multiplied when we share it with others. We also need to feel loved and feel needed.

As women, we are given the amazing gift of being able to nurture and love. Although men have great capacity for nurturing, their calling is to provide and protect the family.

I believe that the ability to nurture is another reason why we as women have the desire to have children, and the fact that children reciprocate the nurturing that we give them with pure innocent love.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Families are amazing! Can I just say that! I really love my family and even though there are times that we disagree, we fight, and we just don’t understand each other, there are more times where we laugh, we share our joys and pains, and we truly feel the closeness, love, and the togetherness of a family.

I think another reason that we yearn to have children is because we want to create a family of our own. It is through families and those close family relationships that we feel the strongest connections of belonging. Our families, whether we like them or not, have shaped us into the people we are today and they have influenced us in ways that we can’t even possible fathom.

I know that it is part of the creators plan for us to have children and to have those most precious family relationships. It is something that is deeply rooted in us and is righteous desire.