A thought from my husband

As a husband, I’ve first learned that I will never fully understand what my wife is going through with the fact that she is not able to become pregnant, and as a result we cannot have kids. This simple tidbit of information has helped me immensely because as a male I will never be the one to feel the physical effects my wife does (luckily). It is true that I also have a great desire, like my wife, to have children; it has been a goal and dream of mine to raise children in the Gospel.

At first, it was difficult for me because I felt like I was out of the loop in the baby-making process while my wife was checking her temperature all the time and looking at some type of chart to figure out when would be the best time to have sex. There was also a point in time that I felt like since I couldn’t do as many things on my end, it meant that I didn’t care about having children as much as my wife; but, that was not true. There is just a more personal, physical attachment women have to the baby-making process that men do not. Once I understood that, I was able to have more of a peace-of-mind and I did my best to work on preparing us to have children, but not worry about it. As a result, I tried to be there more for my wife emotionally and simply listen to her when she explained to me how she felt.

One thing that has also really helped myself feel involved is simply by way of open communication. At first, we had misunderstandings because we did not communicate and instead assumed what the other was meaning or thinking. Later, when we talked to each other about what was on our minds, we may not always have seen eye-to-eye, but we did better understand and sympathize with each other’s perspective.