To let you know a little bit about me, I am a blog and Facebook stalker. I have the blogs that I follow saved in my favorites and once a week (usually on Sunday because that is when I have the most time) I quickly skim all of these blogs. Well one of the blogs that I am following stopped me and made me think a bit about how we in the infertile world view others.
This wonderful woman has just had the opportunity to adopt a beautiful baby girl and it has been really interesting and informative to follow her and her husband. She posted today about the fact that some of us who have been trying for a while may feel a little annoyed by those who have just started trying (in our eyes) and who are upset that they are not pregnant yet. I really appreciate her posting about this because it is very easy for us to measure the pain someone is experiencing by the amount of time they have been suffering.
If someone has only been trying to conceive for 5 months it may be easy to think, “What are they complaining about? Try not being able to conceive after trying for 5 years!”
I know for me the time that was consistently hard for me was the first year of trying. That was the time that I watching for every single signal my body could possibly dish out, I had loaded up on pregnancy test, and hung on to any piece of hope I could. It’s was a hard time because I don’t know what is going on and any month I could get pregnant. It was a time that was very lonely because I don’t know what is going on and it seems like I was the only one out there that couldn’t get pregnant.
When I think about those who are trying, no matter how long, we all have one thing in common; we all want to a baby. I guess this whole post is to echo my friend in the fact that no matter what stage of infertility we are in we need to show each other the love that we ourselves would like to receive, striving to be a little more like Christ in our actions and dealings with our fellow mankind.
(If you would like to read the blog post that I have been referring to it can be found at: http://rachelandnicholas.blogspot.com/)
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Thanks for sharing. I totally agree that we don't know what others feel or their pain and need to be sensitive. It is strange to think that although I have 7 beautiful children that my infertility can cause me to cry when i hear another friend or family member is pregnant again. I have a hard time even bringing it up because some people think I am being selfish. I am not. I do feel very blessed to have my 7 children. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and I would love to have a birth child with him. I probably won't happen and it breaks my heart to see in a movie where the women gets to tell her husband they are expecting a baby. How I have longed to be able to say that to the one I Love with all my heart. It is sad. I should be allowed to have that sadness even though I do have 7 children. I also had 5 children living in my home as I cared for them for years not knowing if I would get to keep them each day. That was so hard i can't even explain it. I also fostered and loved 60 other babies & toddlers that all left. I remember every name & face. I would have kept them all, each was a loss but I would have rather had them for the time I did than to never have them at all. Sorry this was so long..
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